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Ahh, Italy, land of fine wine, beautiful rolling countrysides, and adorable little towns nestled into cliffs on the Mediterranean Sea. But clearly NOT the land of anyone named “Friday”. A Roman court has denied a couple the right to name their baby “Friday” citing that it is the name of a “savage” in the book “Robinson Crusoe”. The judge over the preceding went on to say that a child named “Friday” could create “a sense of inferiority” and could fail to “guarantee the boy the necessary decorum.” The couple has decided to appeal the decision to Italy’s highest court.

Apparently in Italy, city officials are required to report any unusual names, which helps me understand how this landed in court in the first place. It is against the law to name children any name that can be deemed “ridiculous and shameful.” The judge in the case went on to say that being named “Friday” would keep the boy from “serene interpersonal relationships,” turning him into the “laughing stock of his group.” But to top it all off, the judge upheld a June decision by a lower court to name the baby “Gregorio” after the saint associated with the day the baby was born.

Ridiculous, I know, but some parents in the United States could actually use this judge! I’ve taught in the U.S. public school system for 7 years and I have to say that some names I’ve encountered are actually much worse.

Example 1:

I worked with a child whose actual government name was “Killer”. No joke. It was a daily struggle to call the child by his name: “Killer, quit touching her” or “Killer, you didn’t finish your project yet, why are you drawing?” You couldn’t say his name without feeling absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention the lingering feeling that no matter what he did, he was still somehow “bad”. Praise was almost out of the question, “you did a great job Killer!”

Example 2:

Definitely not the worst but this one still made me uncomfortable. I worked with a girl named “Precious”. To add insult to injury, Precious was hardly precious. She was a bit nasty and mean, talked back and was generally bad. Perhaps she was angry at always having to be “Precious”.

Example 3:

This one takes the cake. I didn’t work with these girls directly but knew of them. There were three sisters born to this particular family. Now I believe the oldest sister’s name was Ragina. The middle sister was named Lagina. And now, if you didn’t see it coming, the youngest sister was named…Vagina! At least this little girl had the advantage that her name was pronounced different from the name of the female anatomy. BUT, I shudder to think what that poor girl had to go through once she hit Junior High School and kids began to actually know how to spell.

So while it seems pretty crazy that Italy has a law against “ridiculous and shameful” names, I’ve seen at least a few examples of how the freedom we have in the United States to name our children whatever we choose has gone horribly wrong. Got any good ones?

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Hans Erik
Content Marketing Director
Hans@Next2Friends.com